Celebrities in ugly Christmas sweaters

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Celebrities in sweaters
'Tis the season to be sweaty...

The Christmas sweater. It’s a humble piece of garment with magical powers. What kind of powers you ask? The powers to reduce any human being to just being, another human being in yet another ugly sweater. It can conjure up the feeling of warmth, unadulterated fuzziness from out of nowhere. It cuts anyone down into just another mommy’s boy or another human who’s way too into Yuletide. Of course, celebrities have sought to use this garment’s mythical qualities, by adorning themselves with one, in order to look and feel “more like the common man”.

1. Colin Firth

"Ah, no... millions of people will mimic this look. You wait and see."
In the words of Ted Mosby: PULLING IT… OFF!

In the infamous scene of Firth’s character in Bridget Jones Diary, Mark Darcy wears a royally ugly sweater given to him from his mother. Somehow, that doesn’t make Darcy less dashing for a slight moment. The scene is also deemed to be the moment ugly Christmas sweaters unofficially became a thing again. People would often attempt to replicate this… but c’mon, you’re not Mark Darcy or Colin Firth, so don’t even try.

2. Justin Bieber

He did release a Christmas album, you know.
Record Christmas album. Sell said album. Profit.

Let’s get the really unwanted and undesired dude out of the way. It’s not a particularly ugly sweater to pull off but it’s also worth noting that he still looks like a complete jerk even while wearing one of the more wholesome garments there is to wear. Even the Christmas  sweater magic can’t save Bibes. And well, if you don’t like it, Justin has a face for you.

Yeah, that's right. He'll prove you wrong.
Yeah, that’s right. He’ll prove you wrong.

3. Cee Lo Green

Dat scarf.
Dat scarf.

All I have to say is that this ensemble is probably one of his best — which says a lot.

4. Adam Levine

Moves like Santa.
Moves like Santa.

Cee Lo’s fellow judge on The Voice fares much better with this simple sweater but it’s honestly not one of the harder sweaters to pull off. It doesn’t have a garish colour scheme or any cringe-worthy image on it. A sensible, if not safe choice from the Maroon 5 frontman.

5. Snoop Dogg

Snoop wins.
Snoop wins.

Now, this is what we’re talking about. This grey jumper has a snowman and some hearts on it, which would be incredibly lame when worn by just about anyone. The addition of a real gold chain to the snowman, a pipe and a Santa’s hat on his own cranium brings this home. The Doggfather is going all out here.

6. Matt Damon

My God… what happened?

This outfit is easily the hardest to pull off on the list. It’s also terrible… but judging by that self-assured thumbs up, this is clearly a man who’s comfortable with it. He did play Jason Bourne after all.

7. Mike Tyson and Team Coco

Matching sweaters!
Matching sweaters!

Red, snowflakes and hey, reindeer horns on drummer Max Weinberg! It’s not too bad… really. Can you tell that I’m terrified of saying something bad about Iron Mike?

8. Drake

Started from the bottom now we here, wearing sweaters.
Started from the bottom  and now we are here, wearing sweaters.

Yeah… not working. Thing is way too busy, with patterns all over the thing. Even his companion doesn’t seem to approve. Drake still has a million dollar smile though, for what it’s worth.

9. Katy Perry

They look like wax figures.

When you’re hot and you know it, the world starts to orbit around you. You can wear terribly ugly things and get away with it. Katy Perry gets away with it. And the world’s unfair. Yay.

10. Kanye West

Yeezus, the Christmas maker.
Yeezus, the Christmas maker.

This isn’t eye-gougingly bad and it makes me wonder about a Kanye West Christmas album instead. How about instant classics such as “All of the (Christmas) Lights” or “Hamless”? You know you want it.